S&M bondage limits

Firstly, here is a question for you: What is the difference between Bondage and S&M (Sadomasochism)? Here is an answer put together from various interpretations I found on line.

In a nutshell, Bondage and S&M can be practiced separately, but they are often intermixed, so they tend to be put together into one term, BDSM. Bondage and S&M can be kept separate depending on preference, however. Some people into S&M get off merely on the pain, without any of the bondage or power play. Conversely, there are people who like being tied up and/or dominated but don't like pain.

Whichever you are into there is one clear rule for both: you must have limits. People very often have a ‘stop’ word or phrase so that the partner knows when things have gone far enough, and it’s essential not only to understand this between you, but to choose an appropriate word. Words like ‘stop’, ‘no more’ or ‘please don’t’ are not suitable because these are words, and phrases, that you may use in the role play and could be easily confused at the crucial moment. It’s better to take an unusual word and mark that as your ‘I've reached the end of my limits’ word; something random like ‘winter’, ‘beetroot’ or ‘Sunday’. Those are just three random words that came into my head; it’s up to you what to agree on.

man tied awaing s&m bondage

It’s also up to you to set the limits of what is acceptable in your BDSM sessions – and do this before you start, particularly if you are a newcomer to the scene. All ‘old master’, by which I mean experienced Masters, should fully understand a beginner’s limitations and fully expect a discussion before you get down to business. This might sound clinical and there may be situations when it’s not possible to make such arrangements; even so, try. It’s safer. Don’t put yourself in a sling in a Berlin backroom for the first time and hang around waiting for an in-depth, pre-sex discussion; the guys who come along will expect you to know what to expect. Try things at home first, find a partner (you’ll find many on those dating and hook-up sites, but follow the safety rules about meeting up) and then experiment with what you like. Take it slowly and discover your own threshold for pain or humiliation.

You can start now. Ask yourself a few basic questions: Would you like to be pissed on? Do you like things inserted into your ass? Does the thought of being humiliated, bound or hurt turn you on? I found an in-depth quiz at quizfarm which is something you could try to see if the genre is for you.

But what actually are the limits? How far can you go? There is a point where fun-sex (which is basically what BDSM should be) can step over the line and become assault, or worse. There is a school of thought that says a person has the right to have done to his/her body whatever they like. This is countered by another that says there are limits. I am thinking of the famous case of 2001, in Rotenburg, Germany, where a man had his penis cut off (and eaten) consensually before being murdered, again with consent.

Extreme stuff I know and don’t think that that example has anything to do with normal BDSM activity. It doesn’t.

At the end of the day the limits in BDSM are set by you. It’s a question of how much pain you want or need in order to get satisfaction, and it’s then a question of ensuring that your partner understands that limit. Looking at it the other way around, it’s also up to you how far you want to go in delivering the pleasurable pain to your partner. But whichever way around it is, the very bottom line is that you agree your own limits before you start.

 

©2008 FetishDomain.com